Let Your Soul Be Your Pilot
by southway
Summary: Companion fic to In Treatment.  Rabbi Greenburg's a little too invested in Noah and Rachel's lives, but, then again he has been there since the very beginning.


**Author's Note: **If you haven't read _In Treatment _you might be a little confused. This fic is dedicated to everyone who loves Jew Group and Rabbi Greenburg. I'd also like to thank Nova802 for thinking about how Puckleberry looks from the outside in (especially from Rabbi Greenburg's POV). Had there not being wondering about what was going on in the minds of the tertiary characters, this might not have happened.

This was supposed to contain more Jew Group but Benji kind of took over and ran with it.

**Let Your Soul Be Your Pilot**

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_Maybe all one can do is to hope to end up with the right regrets._

_**Arthur Miller**_

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It's very likely that Benji (don't call me Benjamin even though I'm thirty five) Greenburg is entirely too invested in Noah and Rachel's lives. In fact, he'll be the first one to admit it. The problem is, the line between being involved and being _too involved_ is very thin and pretty blurry. His wife, who was born and raised in Los Angeles and hates the middle of America, thinks that he should get a grip and remove himself from the drama of _Days of Our Lives – Lima, OH_. What she doesn't understand is that it's not that simple.

She doesn't realize how hard it is to turn your back on so much shared history.

He grew up idolizing Hiram Berry (who still holds several records for WMHS football) and praying (along with every other kid in Lima) that he wouldn't grow up to be like Eli Puckerman. He counseled Hiram and Leroy when they wanted to start a family, going as far as to help them find a _nice Jewish woman_ to be the surrogate for their future baby. When Eli was in Michigan at a job site (which wasn't so strange at the time), Benji stepped in and held Ava's hand until Hiram could get the hospital to help coach her through Noah's birth. He's literally been with them since the beginning.

While the beautiful babies are growing up into beautiful children, Benji sometimes feels more like a yenta than a rabbi. He's almost has bad as Leroy and Ava, who are unapologetic about picking out china patterns, wedding venues, and names for their future grandchildren. He lets Noah run wild at the JCC because the majority of his antics involve either defending Rachel (who's a favorite target of the older kids) or entertaining her. He also lets Rachel be as bossy and demanding as she wants to be, feeding into her already strong personality, because she's _usually_ bossing Noah around and demanding that he act like a reasonable human being.

They become best friends when Jacob _accidentally _falls on top of Rachel during the first (and only) game of touch football at the JCC. Noah smashes Jacob's face into the dirt and then encourages Rachel to kick him in the ribs. They're five years old and, as violent as it is, it's probably the cutest thing Benji's seen in a long time.

Ironically, Benji will find out that football is what drives them apart later on in life.

At first he, and every other member of Lima's Jewish community waiting for a Puckerman-Berry wedding, doesn't notice the breakdown in their friendship. In his defense, they've been awkward around each other for weeks; something that was made worse after the events of Rachel's disastrous _Bat Mitzvah_. But then the weeks drag into months and it dawns on him that they no longer hold hands during service, whisper back and forth during youth activities, and the cute puppy love glances have become sad and hateful.

The final straw is when he catches Noah in his office, leaning over his desk, with one hand up the skirt of a blonde girl who Benji's never seen before. If he weren't so disappointed (and embarrassed) he'd probably be a little impressed with the excuse the twelve year old comes up with; _'I was just trying to show Brittany one of the perks of converting to Judaism.'_

It's then that Benji realizes the problem with indulging Rachel and Noah. Now that they're not balancing each other out, they're simply running wild and it is seven years too late to make them respect authority. Noah just keeps sneaking girls into the JCC (at least they're _not Jewish_) and starts throwing punches at anyone who looks at him funny. The energy Rachel once put into keeping Noah on the straight and narrow gets put into expanding her vocabulary and her vocal range.

At the same time he gets invited to more and more dance recitals/acting showcases/vocal performances by Rachel, he gets called in more and more often to act as a character witness on Noah's behalf.

The second day in their freshmen year, Rachel walks (voluntarily) into his office for the first time in _years_. She starts crying before she has a chance to sit down and between hiccupping sobs, tells him all about her first slushy facial. He makes the mistake of calling Hiram and Leroy as soon as Rachel's out of his office and she never does come back.

Life was much more simple when his biggest worry was if they'd let him officiate over their wedding.

When Benji's being perfectly honest with himself, he can admit it's no surprise that Noah got a girl pregnant. He's been waiting for Ava's phone call ever since Noah and Rachel were fourteen. The tiny diva stood up on her chair in the middle of discussion group, looked Noah straight in the eye, and then _yelled at him_ for having unprotected sex in the janitor's closet. Discussion group gets canceled indefinitely two weeks later when a conversation about the Book of Psalms turns into a screaming match between the two. Before he and Miss Bernstein, the youth director, can break up the fight Noah breaks a chair (by shoving Jacob out of his way) and Rachel starts hitting Noah with one of her shoes.

Things never get worse after that moment (he can still remember holding Noah back while Miss Bernstein dragged Rachel out of the room), but it is six months before Benji allows them to be in the same room together. By the time they're sixteen and Quinn Fabray's pregnant with Noah's baby, Benji's all but given up. They're hardly _real people_ anymore, just exaggerated caricatures of what others _perceive them to be_.

It's at their performance at Regionals, where that _nice Jewish lady_ and her smug, weirdly coiffed star stomp all over the New Directions, that Benji sees glimpses of the old _RachelandNoah_ for the first time in a long time. When he sits in a stiff hospital chair beside Rachel, two days after the birth of Noah's baby, he realizes it's time he stop acting like a helpless yenta and start acting more like the rabbi and community leader that he is.

His wife tells him that it's ridiculous to start a group for the Jewish teens in Lima when there are only _five_ but he just ignores her (and the unsettling memories from the last discussion group meeting). If he could get Noah and Rachel to sit in a room together and just talk, without including Jeremy, Abigail, and Jacob, he would; that's just not an option. So, even though Jeremy Altmann's nineteen (going on twenty), Abigail's thirteen (and barely eligible for Jew Group), and Jacob has a tendency to bring out the worst in Rachel and Noah, Benji goes along with his plan anyway.

At their first meeting he is forced to bar Jacob from future Jew Group sessions _and_ ban him from temple services in which Rachel is in attendance. When the Ben-Israels try to convince him that Jacob's just suffering from a harmless crush (the boy spent an _hour_ detailing his plan to lock Rachel in his basement and get her to marry him), he gives them the card of a good therapist. When they protest their son's ban from temple, he reminds them that the last time Jacob attended temple with Rachel he attempted to e_at her hair_.

Even though they _refuse_ to admit that their son has a problem, Benji's just thankful that he no longer has to worry about Noah being brought up on assault charges for beating up Jacob in the middle of temple. Now he just has to field calls from the Ben-Israels that their front door has become the perfect target for pee balloons. That's just slightly easier to deal with.

It takes a couple of meetings before they start talking but, when they finally do, it's obvious that both teens are painfully unhappy. The _nice Jewish woman_ (who Benji wishes would have stayed in New York and far away from Rachel) broke both of their hearts by walking out of Rachel's life with Noah's baby on her hip. Rachel doesn't know what to do with the boy she doesn't love, but believes she should, and Noah doesn't know how to leave the girl he doesn't love in the right way. Almost immediately Benji has to stop Abby and Jeremy from taking bets on who's going to break first.

An unexpected perk is that the two are so distracted by Rachel and Noah that they don't worry so much about their own problems.

In spite of all of this (or maybe because of it), Rachel and Noah start moving closer and closer together. By the time school is about to start, they're sitting next to each other (but never touching). Sometimes Rachel will scoot her chair a fraction closer to Noah's and sometimes Noah will sling his arm over the back of her chair, but, more often than not, they sit side-by-side separated by an invisible barrier by the name of Finn Hudson.

He's smart enough to understand what's going on but not sure whether he should encourage it (after all, they've always been at their best when they're together) or put a stop to it before Rachel Berry becomes another one of Finn Hudson's girlfriends carrying Noah Puckerman's baby. One day, before Jew Group is about to start, he walks in on Noah tucking a piece of hair behind Rachel's ear. It's like they're eleven again and on the cusp of something big and Benji doesn't have the heart to step in to steer them in a direction that isn't going to end in tears and heartache.

He knows it's pathetic but he can't help himself.

That year is the first year he forgets about the significance of October 8th. Between guest lecturing at the HUC-JIR in Cincinnati and dealing with twin five year olds with dueling ear infections, he forgets about the wake of destruction Eli Puckerman left behind. It isn't until that night, when he drives by the warehouse fire on Elizabeth Street that he remembers. When he pulls over on the side of the road (far enough away to not catch on fire), the first person he calls is Hiram.

When the lawyer tells him that Rachel is babysitting Noah, who's too busy puking to set _anything_ on fire, Benji's too relieved to worry about the implications of an alcoholic's son drinking to the point of puking. It's only after hanging up with Hiram that he calls the LFD (and is assured that a fire truck is on its way). On the way home to his haggard wife and miserable sons, he thanks God that there are no hospital or courthouse visits in the near future. It's probably the wrong thing to be thanking God for, but, he's honestly tired of speaking with Judge Thompson and hates the smell of hospitals.

It isn't long after that night that Rachel and Noah start holding hands during temple service and whispering back and forth during the meet and greet while their parents gossip. Noah's always touching her: an arm across her shoulder, his fingers playing with the ends of her hair, a hand on the small of her back and Rachel's constantly looking up at him and blessing him with a truly radiant smile. She sits in his lap during Jew Group, something that Benji could live without, and they more or less run out of things to talk about (although sometimes one of them will make an inappropriate joke involving them and Santana Lopez).

He's smart enough to know that their problems _aren't_ solved but he's also has no intention of popping their happy little bubble. Besides, they really _should_ start discussing Abby's body image issues and the fact that Jeremy refused a full ride to Penn State to go to OSU-Lima because he's the biggest pot dealer in the county.

Then there's the fact that Ava has a hope chest full of fine china in her attic, Leroy has a standing reservation at the Bryn Du Mansion to hold both a wedding ceremony and a reception, and Hiram (although he won't admit it) has a list of baby names locked in the safe in his office.

Perhaps he should distance himself from the drama of _Days of Our Lives – Lima, OH_ but, more often than not, he remembers watching them grow from beautiful babies into beautiful young adults and he realizes he's just too invested in their happy ending to turn away.

Besides, he's got two hundred dollars riding on a bet that says they get married the summer after they graduate from college. He might love those kids and he might be a man of God, but, he's not entirely selfless.

He figures he can take his wife out to dinner and she can tell him _'I told you so,'_ after a couple of glasses of good red wine.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I meant for this to be more about Jew Group than back story from Rabbi Greenburg's POV but that's not how it turned out. I'm not sure how I feel about all of this, but, it did help me get back on track with _In Treatment_, so, I guess I'll consider it a success.


End file.
